Posted on October 14, 2016

What is it to be a “Cool Girl”?

Cool Girl's Diary

Once somebody defined me as a “Cool Girl” and after listening to a friend’s sad love story, I started to think about my own.  I am creating “ The Diary of a Cool Girl” category to share life behind the scenes of “Being a Cool Girl” and other stories that come along with the subject. The pictures I am using is to illustrate what it means to be a “Cool Girl.”

First, let’s answer, “What is a cool girl?” She is the one that has both the looks and personality, the one that is nice, smiles and makes everybody happy. She is the real package in people’s eyes, so true that nobody would think that a person like her would have a problem getting anything in life. They believe that she has the solution to every problem and she can figure out everything. The reality is very different for this type of girl. To tell you the truth, everything for us is twice as hard to get than for anybody else. Most of the time people are scared of us and only when you are in a cool girl’s skin will you know how it works.

cool girl

We are strong but not unbreakable; we love to hear nice words sometimes, and we like when we give and receive in exchange. We are willing to save the world and give our best to our loved ones without expecting anything, but we also want to be respected for that.

Today I met this other cool girl. She resembled me a lot in personality, had similar ideas and we both are models. She started to share her love story, about her loved one, but she never had a relationship with. In fact, she never spent a full day with him. He was supposed to be Mr. Interesting, but I will call him  Mr. Nono.

Mr. Nono has a perfect situation in life, middle age, very successful and uses the words “I love you” on her since the beginning. When they are together, it is all love, and we would both consider them “The Couple.” You would think they are in love and nothing could break that. They talk through Whatsapp, and He texts her or responds when he feels like it. She is always scared of the words she uses with him; he might not like it. Through all these years he has never given her flowers, a birthday call, not even a small gift, despite her being there for him regardless of the situation. Who doesn’t like to be reminded and feel special? A small gesture can mean so much, and it doesn’t cost a thing to do it.

cool girl

Sometimes she gets tired of the situation and just blows up like any other human being on Earth, especially when he plays the silent game and don’t respond kind messages like “Thank you for spending time with me, love”… However, for the first time, she decided to sort things out with him in a phone conversation, and he told her right away he wouldn’t change his life.  He would just be around when he wanted to be, and maybe one day he could change. He enjoyed the hours he spent with her, but nothing else.  She replied that if that’s what he thinks, it’s fine, but she explained to him that she could not keep giving without receiving. You cannot expect somebody to be on hold for you, the friend with no benefits situation had to end.

This girl obviously is heartbroken and has been for a long time. Who wouldn’t be? It became tough for her to believe in the word “love”; she even thinks that cool girls will always be by themselves. Since we are the strong ones, people usually think that we can carry the World on our backs, and we can recover from everything and at the same time, we don’t need anything.

cool girl

We are cool, and we like to be cool, but we are also human beings with feelings, beliefs, and love to give to the ones who deserve it!

Everybody feels, acts and walks in their own way through life but we cannot just receive without giving for our benefit. If there is no exchange, what is the point? Nobody deserves to be treated like an object nor should they allow anybody to do this. We can rarely choose who we love, but we can certainly choose how we want to be treated. It is time for Mr. Nono to start to give if he wants to receive.

After all of this, it crossed my mind that the word, “love” has different meanings for each person. What happened to the real sense of the word “love”? Saying I love you is very easy, but loving for real is completely different. 

The word love means so many things for me. And this is my definition of love: Love is when we can extend our hand when the loved one needs help. Love is to accept the people the way they are and not try to change them. Love is exchanging. It is to be able to give and receive. Love means caring about the others. 

When you use the word “love” never forget you should mean it. The things we do in life have consequences, and we should treat each other in the same way we want to be treated. We should love who makes us feel special!

Cool girls or any other girls around, please love yourself before anything else and if you think you are giving without receiving; he or she doesn’t deserve to receive from you!

If you are a cool girl or any other girl around and you would like to share your story, leave a comment. Feel free to share this post and spread the word around.

I would love hearing from you!

13 Comments

Comment here

  • Reply Adaora October 15, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    Gorgeous! Love the outfits

    Adaora
    http://www.adaorasoludo.com

    View Comment
    • Reply Carla October 15, 2016 at 10:33 pm

      Thanks for the love Adaora!:)

      View Comment
  • Reply Iara October 16, 2016 at 11:03 pm

    Carla,adorei o artigo e vc falou com verdade o que muitas ‘garotas legais’escutam e vivem até o ponto final. Esses seres que não sabem amar são vazios de espírito e alma,terminam suas vidas solitários e deixam de ser felizes por se acharem o rei da cocada!

    View Comment
    • Reply Carla October 16, 2016 at 11:59 pm

      Muita obrigada pelo comentario!:)

      View Comment
  • Reply Tasch October 19, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    This rings so true. Everyone needs to be treated like a whole person and loved.

    View Comment
  • Reply Lindsay M October 24, 2016 at 3:52 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing this story! How can I spot the Mr. Nono’s of the world and avoid getting involved? Any tips?

    View Comment
    • Reply Carla October 25, 2016 at 11:40 am

      Thank you so much Lindsay for stopping by! Well, I think the first sign is the communication you have with the person. If you feel that the person is trying to hide, especially behind text msgs, or makes you feel not welcomed in his life in certain situations right in the beginning and you have the feeling you are giving and not receiving; maybe it is time to move on. Remember, the Cool Girl let the time pass by and ended loosing her self respect loving too much… Keep in mind to ” Love yourself no matter what happens your life” Have a great day:)

      View Comment
  • Reply Beatriz October 24, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    Olá Carla,amei essa descrição do que é ser uma ‘cool girl’,as pessoas confundem tudo não é mesmo,querem tirar proveito das qualidades dos outros e em se tratando desses sr. como o sr.não não é o.oh! Eles são fim de linha mesmo e são frustrados com sua própria vida ou se deixaram enganar por uma esperta e promovem esse tipo de vingança.Conheço bem,são as vítimas,o outro é sempre o culpado,eles nunca sabem o que fazem e se acham os perfeitos.Quero distância,são tóxicos e nocivos,iludem e seduzem.Não sabem e nem conhecem o que seja compartilhar.Bj Carla.:)

    View Comment
  • Reply Will October 24, 2016 at 11:33 pm

    Love this post Carla! I had been in the same situation as the cool girl, the only difference I was the cool boy and had a Ms Nono, I know the feeling of being treated as an object and not a human being! Keep us updated on the adventures of Cool Girl and Ms Nono… The names are very creative!!????

    View Comment
    • Reply Carla October 25, 2016 at 11:47 am

      Thanks Will for the comment and compliments! I love that you expressed your opinion as a man, obviously this happen can happen to anybody as I said sometimes we cannot choose who we love but we certainly choose how we wanted to be treated and nobody deserves to feel less. I will keep writing about the cool girl and Mr Nono adventures. Subscribe to the Newsletter to know when the posting are coming. Have a great day!:)

      View Comment
  • Reply Cindy October 29, 2016 at 11:39 pm

    Loved your post and I see myself involved with a Mr Nono that just wants to talk to me through txt. What can I say to put this and end.?

    View Comment
    • Reply Carla November 17, 2016 at 3:39 pm

      Hi Cindy! Thanks for reading and this a good incentive for me to write another post about how we can approach the “text” situation since it is so common now a days to text… Next time he texts tell him you would love to talk on the phone like in the old times… If he tries to sneak away you know that there is a sign of a Mr Nono in the air… Have a great day:)

      View Comment
  • Reply Jonathan August 7, 2017 at 11:42 pm

    I can totally see how this relates to you… beautiful article!!! You are much more than a “cool girl”…

    View Comment
  • Back to top